I was so angry at God for all the horrible circumstances that was inflicted on me as a child. I was hurt by Christians worse than unbellivers. I ran from God, I denied His Existence and Blasphemened His Spirit in Ignorance and while blinded by my own hatred. No matter how much I denied the existence of God. I could not resist His Grace.
Then I woke up! I said to myself, "What a nightmare!" Then I took a big shit, pissed a whole minute, and said aloud, "Fundies will believe anything!"
We Thank the Lord Jesus Christ that His Mercy Knows No Limits!
This use to be a blogspot of a man that was very angry at God. I was angry at God for many years. I just would not admit it. I recently came to the place I rejected the exisetence of God. At least I thought I did. I would curse God and go out of my way to curse God's people. I hit lower than rock bottom and denied that God existed. In ignorance I blasphemened the Holy Spirit. Over the last month I would hear gospel songs being sang in an audible voice. I would search through the house and nowhere was their any music playing. I tried to ignore these voices singing of God's faithfulness. I even told myself I was receiving bleed over signals in my house from strong raidio towers or through eletronic gagets in the house were picking them up. More and more this happened. Last Monday night I heard a choral sing, "Great is thy Faitfulness." I walked across the house and I asked my wife, "Honey are you singing any gospel hymns?" She said no. "It has to be a feedback signal bleeding through some gadget. " I would tell myself. On Tuesday morning I woke up hearing the old hymnal, "I Know Whom I Have Believed". And a soft gentle voice saying, "I will never let you go. I am faithful. Even if you are unfaithful I remain faithful to keep those which the Father has given to me." Tuesday morning with my ears I heard more songs, "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and "Come unto me." I went to my wife, we prayed together. I repented before the Lord and turned to Jesus asking him through so much sorrow and humility to forgive me and restore me , and I heard in my ears, "Dane I love you. Your sins are all gone, buried forever in the sea of my forgetfullness and you are my son." And fuck you fundie! I am just bullshitting you! Non of the above is true!
I am very far away of even being in the tip of the shadow of a scholar of the Holy Scriptures. I know my new walk with God will be a continual learning experience as the Holy Spirit enables my heart to grasp and discern the truths of His Scriptures. I sense in my spirit God wants me to share the nuggets of truth His Spirit reveals to me from the Holy Scriptures. I believe first and foremost this is to be one means of bringing glory to God. Next it is a means for me to learn from others much more mature than I am in the things of God to teach me through their adding, sharing and correcting me where I am mistaken or not fully understanding the doctrines of God. I testify in Jesus name too, that all the verses of the Scriptures I once used as an atheist to mock and lampoon what I thought in my unregenerate heart proved the stupid ignorance of Christians , now makes perfect sense and are confirmed in my regenerated heart to be the absolute unfailing truth of Almighty God! Truly the Scriptures state that the things of God can only be understood through the Spirit of the Lord. To the unregenerate soul God's words are foolishness. To those that are born of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, the truth and saving power of God! Thank you Holy Spirit for saving my heart through Jesus Christ by the will of God the Father! I pray that as I begin using my blog this way it will accomplish three major goals. Of course I have more desires to fulfill through this blog. However I desire all my failures and successes will accomplish the three core goals listed below: 1. TO WORSHIP GOD AND BRING PRAISE AND GLORY TO JESUS CHRIST. 2. TO BLESS MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO ARE THE CHURCH.
3. TO PROVE BEFORE MY BRETHREN OVER TIME THROUGH ME LIVING CONSISTENTLY, FAITHFULLY, AND IN SUBMISSION TO GOD AND THOSE WHOM HE APPOINTS OVER ME AS MY SPIRITUAL FATHERS THAT MY CONVERSION TO JESUS CHRIST AND MY HEART IS TRULY REGENERATED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT THROUGH JESUS CHRIST BECAUSE OF THE WILL OF GOD THE FATHER! Please pray for me. I am unimaginable light years from even approaching the tiniest of a shadow of being far less than perfect. Thank God Jesus has conquered sin, death, and all the works of evil and He has redeemed me with His eternal salvation! Amen!
My wife Delores will confirm what I am stating is true. As you know from my previous post I had been hearing with my ears in a literal audible way some of the old time great Gospel hymnals. I brushed these incidents off and did not pay much attention these incidents. Three days before the Lord delivered me I prayed a prayer out loud in front of my wife. My intention was to prove to her God did not exist. My wife is big on prayer. She would tell me at least once a week she was praying for me. After she stated this again I determined to put an end to her, "I'm praying for you" routine. I said. "Okay honey, do you really believe God would do anything to keep me from going to Hell if he chose me to be one of His?" She did not say a thing. I then in a mocking way to prove my point that prayer is nothing more than wishful thinking, prayed aloud in front of my wife, "God, if you exist, and of course I know you don't, but if you do, I want to experience a supernatural event that can not be explained away to me and yet I know that it is actually happening in front of me and I know that it is real. Amen!"[I add here that my wife stated she shared with her Christian friends and her loved-ones that it would take God doing something that was real that I could not explain away no matter how hard I tried. Delores would remind her concerned Christian friends and loved-ones that she has been married to me almost 33 years and knew in her heart what it would take God to do to bring me to my spiritual senses. She stated this was the reason she refused to debate me. She knew God would take care of me! Thank God for the godly wife!] Looking back on this prayer of mine I use my imagination a little bit and I can imagine Jesus tapping an angel on his shoulder and laughing and saying, "Watch this. This is going to be funny." The last incident of actually hearing audibly with my own ears a Choir singing the great old fashion Gospel hymnals sealed the deal for me. No matter how much I tried to deny this and tell myself that what I was experiencing was in my mind the Chorus kept singing. And the rest is wonderful history. I personally believe that last Tuesday morning is when I was truly saved, generated, and born again through Jesus Christ. My whole previous Christian experience had with it a personal nagging doubt God did not exist. I would just play the game and use the message of the Gospel to help others. It is amazing what denial and rebellion against God can do in its course of deception. I will give an example how we can easily throw out explanations of coincidence to attempt to explain away what clearly is God working. My youngest son, Jerald "Jerry" Christian Eidson will tell you that this really happened. I am sure he would not mind telling any of you this if you were to request his Email address and/or have him call you on your cell or land line phone to verify this. Before I go any further some of you Christians may doubt God can use an unbeliever, (I believe I was an unbeliever because I doubted God existed while professing Him as my Saviour). God did speak through a Donkey. So that is enough proof for me that God can speak through an unregenerate person! When my son was in his mid teens I heard a voice, (not out loud but an inward strong overwhelming voice), that warned me that the next day a young man would pull up in our driveway in his car. He would offer Jerry a ride to somewhere. The voice said to me, "Don't let him go!" I wrote down the boy's name, the exact time, (Literally the exact time), the first sentence out of the Young man's mouth, (literally the exact words). I wrote all this information down and placed it in one of his books. The time, event, the young man and the exact words were spoken by this young man to my son exactly and perfectly as the inward voice told me it would happen over 24 hours previously. The very next day as both me and my son were standing outside, (the boy had not told Jerry anytime previously he was planning to come over to our house. Neither did he tell me or anyone else.), I said to Jerry, "You can't go and before you argue with me go get your book and read what is written by me on the inside of its cover." Jerry did and he read exactly what happened and he was moved strongly. I was shocked too myself. Many years later I would [lie about this to explain it way and] state that this was just freak coincidence. Why would I claim such a thing? Because as a professing atheists I refused to believe God existed. No matter how strong and clear any evidence existed to prove God is I in my rebellion refused to believe. I thank God His grace is irresistible. Those whom God has chosen can not resist his grace. They will rebel and go into deep levels of sin and wicked perversion. But No matter the extent of their sin, no matter the depth of their wickedness, or the vileness of their evil, in the end they are not able to resist the Grace of God. Jesus keeps those whom the Father has given Him! I have so many people to ask their forgiveness for. Too many to list. In this post I ask all those I have insulted, mocked, trashed, and sinned against to forgive me. All I know to do to make an amends for my vile wickedness is to live each moment for the Saviour. In Jesus' name would you be willing to forgive me and honor your love for God by my life living for the Saviour? I am not perfect. I am very far from perfect. I still have my same personality of being outspoken, opinionated, pushy, and forward. But I do share a common experience and state with all my brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ. This is Redemption!
These are some of the songs and music that I heard audibly through my physical ears just before I was delivered and redeemed through Jesus Christ alone: